Serbs Tell It Like It Is

Long story short, I was talking with my buddy, HenryAcores, and the conversations somehow turned to the Kosovo War back in the late ’90s when I suddenly remembered this clip from a few years back.

The dude in the clip is Vojislav Šešelj, a Serbian politician currently on trial in Hague for alleged war crimes and possible crimes against humanity. What he is reading from is a transcript of his own words from a previous hearing.

Along with the video, I have written an English translation (my Serbian is not brilliant, so it might be a little flawed) so y’all can see why it’s so outrageously funny.

Prosecutor NICE: Please read to us, in Serbian, what is written at the end of this sentence.

Vojislav ŠEŠELJ: Why didn’t You read it all, Mr. Nice? You read more beautifully than I. At the end, I said: “… You, the members of the Registry office of The Hague Tribunal, can do nothing more than suck my dick.” This is written in the text.

Prosecutor NICE: Please now read the last paragraph on the same page.

Vojislav ŠEŠELJ: No, I can’t read just the last one, I have to read the second-to-last one and the last one together. The last one only makes sense if-

Prosecutor NICE: Fine fine, read them both, read them both.

Vojislav ŠEŠELJ:My-” I may read it? “My legal advisors are not my Defence counsel and that is why they need not fulfil the conditions stipulated by the Rules of Procedure and Evidence for Defence counsel. All they have to do is to fulfil those conditions which *I* prescribe for them. And You just keep on hampering my Defence and then you’ll ultimately end up going to have to eat all the shit that you excreted. I fuck all of y’all’s mothers, starting with Hans Holthuis, and so on.

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